Humiliation. Ever been there? Being made to look a fool. In front of your friends, maybe, or a room full of strangers. Humiliation happens, sometimes without intention, sometimes with full intention. It brings up lots of emotions in us, and essentially we just want to escape.

Well today I had one of these undoubtedly unwanted situations. In my most difficult class, my professor asked a question and my answer was wrong. So instead of asking someone else, he just drilled me with question after question after question. He completely embarrassed me but proceeded to make it worse. Now in his mind, maybe it was to help me. Although, to my mere mortal soul it felt like a brutal attack. Once he backfired with the first follow-up question my mind went super fuzzy….already, all I could think about was everyone in the classroom thinking I was dumb. Well, that was only the beginning. The questions seemed endless and no one else could answer. Nope, only Sarah White, who happened to be in a desk up front just feet away from a seated professor with a penetrating stare. Wonder if he knows I have anxiety, or cares. Wonder if he knows how insecure and self-conscious I am, or cares. Wonder if he knows how much his antics hurt me, or cares. Well when it comes down to it, in those moments it doesn’t quite matter. You just have to get through the moments of humiliation with however much dignity you can. Hopefully you can push the emotions aside just to make it through the event without bursting to tears. Ha, it took everything in me not to break down all the remaining 75 minutes of class sitting in my seat up front, looking like nothing but a complete idiot.

Let’s look at the unforgiving context. I am 25. I am sitting in a room full of undergrads who know way more than I do about finance. Either they’re laughing like “wow how is this girl in college,” or they just feel really bad for me. And either option is not a fun one to think about.

But I guess we’ll start there. Why do we spend so much time mulling over what people may think about us? Worst case scenario, it’s true. Worst case scenario, whatever they think about you is true. And then what? Does it define who you are? Does it make you incapable of success? Does it make you unfit to be where you are doing what you’re doing? Does it make you a failure?

Take a step back and think about where you are in life. Maybe it’s at work, or school, or at home. Maybe you’re in a tough situation personally. Maybe it’s somewhere or something else. I don’t know where you are and what you’re doing. But I do know that what people think about you doesn’t have the power to ever discount you and what you have to offer. I do know that what YOU THINK people think about you, even if true, doesn’t limit your life. Actually, WHAT YOU THINK has the power to limit your life. Yeah, as a man thinks so is he. I’m not saying if you think you can fly you can, or anything ludicrous. I’m just saying that your thoughts carry the most weight in your life, not someone else’s. They have the power to influence everything you do and don’t do.

Today, I did indeed break down. Ask my Dad. He’s always my go-to and I’m so thankful because he immediately shows intentional compassion and points me to the Truth.

And that’s where it’s at, people. THE TRUTH. I know, I know. All I ever write about is the Bible and Jesus, blah blah blah. You may think “He can’t be the simple answer to everything”.. And that just wouldn’t be true, because He is. He IS the simple answer to everything. Failures, humiliations, embarrassments, flaws, shortcomings… bring them to the cross and lay them down. In exchange, pick up rest. His yoke is easy and His burden is light. What does that even mean? What even is a yoke? A yoke is what would’ve been fastened to animals and connected to a plow or cart they would pull back in the biblical times. In some parts of the world, yokes are still used. A yoke is cumbersome and implies a heavy load to be carried. In Jesus’ day, the Pharisees had been putting a yoke of legalism onto the Israelite people. It was this idea that they had to keep the law and do everything just right, leaving no room for failure. Jesus came in fulfillment of the Law and squelched that idea of legalism the Pharisees had been purporting. Jesus wasn’t about some Pharisaical law but about walking in right relationship with God the Father. Thank God we don’t have to strive in futility to keep a human-made law that encompasses all aspects of life. We are free from that burden, but instead we must surrender all to the One who has fulfilled the entire Law. That is salvation: surrender. And this surrender is not to be glazed over.

So what does that have to do with humiliation? And what does humiliation have to do with a yoke? Well I think it all has a lot to do with each other. Jesus is the fulfilled prophecy of perfection. I can’t be perfect. It’s just not possible. Do I carry burdens? Yeah, don’t we all? But do we have to?? No, we don’t. Have you ever felt weary and heavy laden? We are called by Jesus Himself to come to Him in our weariness, with our burdens, and He promises to give us rest! We have to let go of those things we’re carrying though. Is it that humiliation, that insecurity, the voice inside your head saying you’re not enough and you should give up? Whatever it is, lay it down. If the thought doesn’t bring glory to God, lay it down.

When we surrender what we’re carrying we free ourselves up to be filled with the Truth of Jesus.

That is the key. We don’t lay down our self doubts for self affirmation and self efficacy. No, we lay down our not enough for Jesus’ more than enough.

We lay down what we think people think of us for what the Lord thinks of us. And if you are a child of the King, if you’ve truly surrendered your life to Him, then He calls you His own, clothed in the righteousness and unrelenting worth of Jesus Christ. The Lord is your banner. Jehovah Nissi. Does this ring true in your life? I had to do a heart check today, because in that moment of humiliation I don’t know what exactly my banner was but it surely wasn’t the Lord.

And it’s totally okay to not be okay. It’s okay to have tough days. And honestly a humiliation in front of some classmates I don’t know from Adam really doesn’t seem like much when I think of a lot tougher things people are going through. But wherever we’re at, whatever our struggle is, that’s what we’re going through and it’s not insignificant just because it isn’t something worse. God uses anything to reveal His heart to us and to grow us into the men and women He’s created us to be in this world. Whatever we may be going through, it is okay to feel negative emotions and deal with them! It is okay to be down. It is okay to not be okay. But it is not okay for you, and it is not okay for me, to stay not okay. It’s not okay to stay down, it’s not okay to stay stuck in negative emotions. And let me be clear about what I mean here… God wants MORE for us. He wants us to get through things by His strength. He wants us to lean on Him and grow closer to His heart. He wants us to experience His joy and satisfaction. He doesn’t want our sorrows and pains to last forever. He wants us to experience victory in Him.

So what’s going on in your life today? What kind of season are you in these days? Are you experiencing victory in the Lord? If you’re not, then take some time to ask yourself why. Ask the Lord why. I don’t mean you will FEEL victorious all the time, and FEEL joy all the time. I mean that deep down you will know that you are victorious in Christ and that in HIM your joy and worth are found. And in the midst of your day to day, in happy times and sad, the Lord will be your banner. He will be your strength. Your rock. His burden is easy and yoke is light. Lay down what you have weighing on you, and pick up some rest.

That’s what I had to do today. I had to take a step back and see that sometimes things are just hard and we just don’t feel like we are good enough. Sometimes we just feel humiliated. Sometimes we just have a bad day. But one day doesn’t make a life! It’s the day to day. It’s yesterday and today and tomorrow, every single day adding up to your life. How do you choose to live it?

Back to our thoughts. Our thoughts take us very far in life. Our thoughts make us who we are in a lot of ways. We must structure the tracks of our brain to think on what is good rather than destructive. It’s pretty simple in theory but can be hard to do. Philippians 4:8 – it’s clear cut, but hard to know how to consistently think in such a way. We think on true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent and praiseworthy things by focusing our thoughts upward, by filtering our thoughts through God’s Word. And how does one filter thoughts through scripture? Read it. Know it. Study it. Meditate on it. Memorize it. Live it. Not casually, but consistently.

What Jesus is telling us about laying our burdens down and taking up His yoke is not this abstract, passive exhale of the bad and inhale of the good. When we lay our burdens down, it doesn’t mean that the burdens go away. It just means that we allow Jesus to help us carry them. And another key note is that we are picking up Jesus’ yoke; therefore, he steers is in the direction He wants us to go. He directs our paths! We do not live according to the whims of our flesh; we don’t even get a pass to act in sin when we come up against adversity. We are still called to walk by faith in the Lord in day to day challenges. What’s different is that we have the guide and refuge we need to make it through.

The context of Jesus saying to come to Him and take His yoke upon us is found in Matthew 11:25-30, where He says this–
At that time Jesus said, “I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. Yes, Father, for this is what you were pleased to do. All things have been committed to me by my Father. No one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and those to whom the Son chooses to reveal him. Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Jesus doesn’t just want us to come to Him and be released of the burden of having to measure up, but He wants us to learn from Him. He says that He is gentle and humble in heart. The beginning of obedience to God is in humbling ourselves before Him as Jesus did. Humility before God begets the joy and satisfaction we long for among men. (Nothing about us makes us worthy of salvation and the call of God other than His grace. He reveals Himself to us in His mercy, and we get to know Him and make Him known as a result! This should humble us with a sense of awe and responsibility!)

Look at Philippians 2, where Paul talks about the ultimate humility of Christ. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Don’t look out for your own interests but also for the interests of others.  So in this moment for me, I want to look at my situation from God’s perspective – how can I display the gospel in my actions? And I want to apply that in every instance in my life. I know that is difficult and I am and will be imperfect at it. But that is the goal – to know Him and make Him known. How? In a gospel minded response to adversity. 

God, let our humiliation lead us deeper into the humility of Christ.